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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Engineer Woh Hai Jo….

Engineer Woh Hai Jo Aksar Phasta Hai
Interviews Ke Sawaal Mae
Badi Companiyon Ki Chaal Mae
Boss Aur Client Ke Bawaal Mae

Engineer Woh Hai Jo Pak Gaya Hai
Meetings Ki Jhelai Mae
Submissions Ki Gehrai Mae
Teamwork Ki Chatai Mae

Engineer Woh Hai Jo Laga Rahta Hai
Schedule Ko Failane Mae
Targets Ko Khiskaane Mae
Roz Naye-Naye Bahane Mae

Engineer Woh Hai Jo
Lunch Time Mae Breakfast Karta Hai
Dinner Time Mae Lunch Karta Hai
Commutation Ke Waqt Soya Karta Hai

Engineer Woh Hai Jo Pagal Hai
Chai Aur Samose Ke Pyar Mae
Cigeratte Ke Khumar Mae
Birdwatching Ke Vichar Mae

Engineer Woh Hai Jo Khoya Hai
Reminders Ke Jawaab Mae
Na Milne Wale Hisaab Mae
Behtar Bhavishya Ke Khwaab Mae

Engineer Woh Hai Jise Intezaar Hai
Weekend Night Manane Ka
Boss Ke Chhutti Jaane Ka
Increment Ki Khabar Aane Ka

Engineer Woh Hai Jo Sochta Hai
Kaash Padhai Pe Dhyaan Diya Hota
Kaash Teacher Se Panga Na Liya Hota
Kaash Ishq Na Kiya Hota

Aur Sabse Behtar To Ye Hota
Kambakht Engineering Hi Na Kiya Hota…….. ….


refrence


You know you are living in 2006



YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006
when...


1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.


2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.


3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.


4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.


5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.


6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.


7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.


8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go get it.


10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.


11. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.


12. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to email this post.


13. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.


14. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

ચાવીને ચાવી શકાતી નથી!


મારા ભાઈ-ભાભી રાજકોટ રહે છે. આવી મોંઘવારીમાં પણ બંનેને બેય ટાઇમ જમવા જોઈએ છે. એટલે બંને સર્વિસ કરે છે! એમનો દીકરો-દીકરી કોલેજમાં ભણે. ચારમાંથી કોણ ગુલ્લી મારીને વહેલું ધેર આવી જાય એ નક્કી ન હોય તેથી એ લોકો તાળું મારીને ચાવી કંપાઉન્ડમાં રાખેલા કૂંડામાં ખોસી દે! જોકે કૂંડામાં ખોસવા છતાં ચાવી કયારેય ઊગીને એકની બે નહોતી થઈ! કૂંડાના ખાતરમાં ખામી... બીજું શું?!

એક વાર એવું થયું કે એમની દીકરી અમીષા વહેલી અને પહેલી ઘરે આવી. એણે ચાવી લેવા રાબેતા મુજબ કૂંડામાં હાથ નાખ્યો. પણ ચાવી નહોતી. એને થયું કે મમ્મીએ કદાચ પડોશીને ચાવી આપી હશે. એટલે એણે બાજુવાળાને પૂછ્યું કે, ‘મમ્મી ચાવી આપી ગઈ છે?!’ તો પડોશી કહે, ‘ના રે... પણ કેમ, ચાવી કૂંડામાં નથી?!’ અમીષાએ સોસાયટીમાં બીજા ધેર, ત્રીજા ધેર, પૂછપરછ કરી તો એમણેય એવું જ પૂછ્યું કે, ‘કેમ, કૂંડામાં નથી?’ આમ અડધી સોસાયટીને ખબર હતી કે આ લોકો ચાવી કૂંડામાં રાખે છે! ફકત આ લોકોને જ નહોતી ખબર કે પડોશીઓ એમની ચાવીને ‘ચાવી’ જાણે છે!

આપણે ઘરને જો રેઢું મૂકીએ તો લોકોને ખ્યાલ આવી જાય કે આમના ઘરમાં ગાભા જેવા પાર્ટીવેર, એલ્યુમિનિયમના ઠોંચરા અને પ્લાસ્ટિકના ઘરેણાં સવિાય કશું છે નહીં. એટલે આપણી પાસે કીમતી વસ્તુઓ છે તેવો ભ્રમ ઊભો કરવા જ આપણે ઘરને તાળું મારીએ છીએ અને પૈસાદાર છીએ એવો રૂઆબ છાંટવા જ ચાવી પડોશીને જ આપીએ છીએ!! બીજું કે આપણે અમદાવાદ રહેતા હોઈએ અને સગાં સુરેન્દ્રનગર રહેતાં હોય તો રોજેરોજ ચાવી આપવા સુરેન્દ્રનગર ન જવાય ને? અને એટલે જ ચાવી પડોશીને જ આપવી પડે. ત્

ોથી પડોશીઓને મસકો મારવા જ ‘પહેલો સગો પડોશી’ એવું સૂત્ર તરતું મુકાયું છે. આમેય પડોશીનો ઉપયોગ મોટે ભાગે ચાવી આપવા માટે જ થાય છે. છતાં કેટલાક પોતાની ચાવી પડોશીને આપવાને બદલે કૂંડામાં કે બારણાની બહાર બનાવેલા ગણપતિના ગોખલામાં રાખે છે. એનું કારણ જણાવતાં મૂળચંદ કહે છે કે અમારા બધાં સગાં દગાખોર નીકળ્યા છે. અને પડોશીને પાછો પહેલો સગો કીધો છે. ઐટલે અમે પડોશીને ચાવી આપતાં ગભરાતા હોઈએ છીએ!

તાળું મારવું જેટલું સહેલું છે એટલું જ ચાવી સાચવવું અઘરું છે. ઘરમાં જેટલા સભ્યો હોય એટલી સંખ્યામાં ચાવી બનાવડાવી બધા પાસે એક એક ચાવી રાખવી. આ વિકલ્પ પણ લાગે છે એટલો સહેલો નથી. કારણ કે કયારેક એકાદ સભ્ય ચાવી રાખેલું પર્સ કે પેન્ટ ધેર જ ભૂલી જાય એવું બને! એટલે બધાની ચાવી બનાવડાવો તોય પડોશીને આપવા માટે તો એક બનાવડાવવી જ પડે! એટલે જ કહું છું કે ‘આપણી ચાવી’ પડોશીના હાથમાં ભલેને રહી!!

ચાવી એ ચાવી હોવા છતાં એને ‘ચાવી’ શકાતી નથી એ ચમત્કાર નહીં તો બીજું શું? અને કદાચ એકવાર ચાવી પણ જાવ તો એને પેટમાંથી પાછી લાવી શકાતી નથી. એટલે ચાવીને અન્ય રીતે જ ચોરનજરથી બચાવી લેવી ઘટે!

છમ્મવડું : ‘આપણે પડોશીને રોજ ચાવી આપીએ છીએ છતાં તેઓ કેમ આપણા ઘરમાંથી કંઈ ચોરી નથી જતાં?’ ‘કારણ કે એમના ઘરની ચાવી આપણા હાથમાં હોય છે!’


Friday, January 23, 2009

WHAT IS MARRIAGE a 30 point answer?

1. Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffeRING.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don’t know son, I’m still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can’t face each other, but they still stay together.

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.

21. I married Miss right; I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

22. It’s not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.

25. WIFE: Let’s go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lighs on.

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN’T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

28. It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

WHY I AM A HINDU ?

Just b4 some days, I got this Mail and I have no Words how to be thankful, what 2 say, this guy who explained the little girl about Hinduism.. Please read carefully its very very very interesting. If you hindu, After reading this, you will say "I AM PROUD TO BE HINDU"


Four years ago, I was flying from JFK NY Airport to SFO to attend a meeting at Monterey , CA An American girl was sitting on the right side, near window seat. It indeed was a long journey - it would take nearly seven hours.

I was surprised to see the young girl reading a Bible unusual of young Americans. After some time she smiled and we had few acquaintances talk. I told her that I am from India


Then suddenly the girl asked: 'What's your faith?' 'What?' I didn't understand the question.


'I mean, what's your religion? Are you a Christian? Or a Muslim?'


'No!' I replied, 'I am neither Christian nor Muslim'.


Apparently she appeared shocked to listen to that. 'Then who are you?' 'I am a Hindu', I said.


She looked at me as if she was seeing a caged animal. She could not understand what I was talking about.


A common man in Europe or US knows about Christianity and Islam, as they are the leading religions of the world today. But a Hindu, what?


I explained to her - I am born to a Hindu father and Hindu mother. Therefore, I am a Hindu by birth.


'Who is your prophet?' she asked.


'We don't have a prophet,' I replied.


'What's your Holy Book?'


'We don't have a single Holy Book, but we have hundreds and thousands of philosophical and sacred scriptures,' I replied.


'Oh, come on at least tell me who is your God?'


'What do you mean by that?'


'Like we have Jesus and Muslims have Allah - don't you have a God?'


I thought for a moment. Muslims and Christians believe one God (Male God) who created the world and takes an interest in the humans who inhabit it. Her mind is conditioned with that kind of belief.


According to her (or anybody who doesn't know about Hinduism), a religion needs to have one Prophet, one Holy book and one God. The mind is so conditioned and rigidly narrowed down to such a notion that anything else is not acceptable. I understood her perception and concept about faith. You can't compare Hinduism with any of the present leading religions where you have to believe in one concept of god.


I tried to explain to her: 'You can believe in one god and he can be a Hindu. You may believe in multiple deities and still you can be a Hindu. What's more - you may not believe in god at all, still you can be a Hindu. An atheist can also be a Hindu.'


This sounded very crazy to her. She couldn't imagine a religion so unorganized, still surviving for thousands of years, even after onslaught from foreign forces.


'I don't understand but it seems very interesting. Are you religious?'
What can I tell to this American girl?


I said: 'I do not go to temple regularly. I do not make any regular rituals. I have learned some of the rituals in my younger days. I still enjoy doing it sometimes.'

'Enjoy? Are you not afraid of God?'


'God is a friend. No- I am not afraid of God. Nobody has made any compulsions on me to perform these rituals regularly.'


She thought for a while and then asked: 'Have you ever thought of converting to any other religion?'


'Why should I? Even if I challenge some of the rituals and faith in Hinduism, nobody can convert me from Hinduism. Because, being a Hindu allows me to think independently and objectively, without conditioning. I remain as a Hindu never by force, but choice.' I told her that Hinduism is not a religion, but a set of beliefs and practices. It is not a religion like Christianity or Islam because it is not founded by any one person or does not have an organized controlling body like the Church or the Order, I added. There is no institution or authority.


'So, you don't believe in God?' she wanted everything in black and white.


'I didn't say that. I do not discard the divine reality. Our scripture, or Sruthis or Smrithis - Vedas and Upanishads or the Gita - say God might be there or he might not be there. But we pray to that supreme abstract authority (Para Brahma) that is the creator of this universe.'


'Why can't you believe in one personal God?'


'We have a concept - abstract - not a personal god. The concept or notion of a personal God, hiding behind the clouds of secrecy, telling us irrational stories through few men whom he sends as messengers, demanding us to worship him or punish us, does not make sense. I don't think that God is as silly as an autocratic emperor who wants others to respect him or fear him.' I told her that such notions are just fancies of less educated human imagination and fallacies, adding that generally ethnic religious practitioners in Hinduism believe in personal gods. The entry level Hinduism has over-whelming superstitions too. The philosophical side of Hinduism negates all superstitions.

'Good that you agree God might exist. You told that you pray. What is your prayer then?'


'Loka Samastha Sukino Bhavantu. Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti,'


'Funny,' she laughed, 'What does it mean?'


'May all the beings in all the worlds be happy. Om Peace, Peace, Peace.'


'Hmm ..very interesting. I want to learn more about this religion. It is so democratic, broad-minded and free' she exclaimed.


'The fact is Hinduism is a religion of the individual, for the individual and by the individual with its roots in the Vedas and the Bhagavad-Gita. It is all about an individual approaching a personal God in an individual way according to his temperament and inner evolution - it is as simple as that.'


'How does anybody convert to Hinduism?'


'Nobody can convert you to Hinduism, because it is not a religion, but a set of beliefs and practices. Everything is acceptable in Hinduism because there is no single authority or organization either to accept it or to reject it or to oppose it on behalf of Hinduism.'


I told her - if you look for meaning in life, don't look for it in religions; don't go from one cult to another or from one guru to the next.


For a real seeker, I told her, the Bible itself gives guidelines when it says ' Kingdom of God is within you.' I reminded her of Christ's teaching about the love that we have for each other. That is where you can find the meaning of life.

Loving each and every creation of the God is absolute and real. 'Isavasyam idam sarvam'… Isam (the God) is present (inhabits) here everywhere - nothing exists separate from the God, because God is present everywhere. Respect every living being and non-living things as God. That's what Hinduism teaches you.


Hinduism is referred to as Sanathana Dharma, the eternal faith. It is based on the practice of Dharma, the code of life. The most important aspect of Hinduism is being truthful to oneself. Hinduism has no monopoly on ideas.- It is open to all. Hindus believe in one God (not a personal one) expressed in different forms. For them, God is timeless and formless entity.


Ancestors of today's Hindus believe in eternal truths and cosmic laws and these truths are opened to anyone who seeks them. But there is a section of Hindus who are either superstitious or turned fanatic to make this an organized religion like others. The British coin the word 'Hindu' and considered it as a religion.


I said: 'Religions have become an MLM (multi-level- marketing) industry that has been trying to expand the market share by conversion. The biggest business in today's world is Spirituality. Hinduism is no exception'


I am a Hindu primarily because it professes Non-violence-'Ahimsa Paramo Dharma' - Non violence is the highest duty. I am a Hindu because it doesn't conditions my mind with any faith system.


Send it to all those, who you think will find it interesting!

Note : I am not hating or abuse any religions, every religions are good at their side, but by making this post I just want to drow attention of the people who just don't know what is hinduism.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

INTRESTING QUOTATIONS BY THE FAMOUSE PEOPLE

The weak can never forgive, forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. -Mahatma Gandhi




Music expresses that which cannot be said, and which cannot be suppressed.




Because in a sense, it's the coming back, the return which gives meaning to the going forth. We really don't know where we've been until we've come back to where we were. Only, where we were may not be as it was because of who we've become. Which is, after all, why we left




To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. --Oscar Wilde





Often, the greatest growth takes place under the hardest of circumstances. Look deeply to learn the lessons of the coldest, most painful times, for within them lies your greatest potential for transformation




You win some, you lose some, and some get rained out, but you gotta suit up for them all. -J. Askenberg




I learned there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead, others come from behind.
But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready, you see.
Now my troubles are going to have trouble with me.- Dr. Seuss



If others are jealous, you're doing something right.



You don't trust something to be true, so you push it to the point when it isn't true.~Charles de Lint



In the presence of trouble, some people grow wings... others buy crutches.



i believe we write our own stories and each time we think we know the end, we don't. perhaps luck exsists somewhere between the world of planning, of chance and in the peace that comes from knowing that you just can't know it all. life's funny that way... once you let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong --little black book



Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are




That's just the trouble with me,I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it -Alice In Wonderland




life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances, you just have to live life to the fullest. laugh as much as you can, spend all your money, tell someone what they mean to you, tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someones hand, comfort a friend, pig out, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, smile till your face hurts, dont be afraid to take chances or fall in love...& most of all live in the moment cause when you look back someday knowing you have no regrets it's gonna be what makes you smile



knowledge is a terrible or a marvelous thing, it just depends on your perspective --little black book



Where words fail, music speaks



You know Hobbes...some days even wearing my lucky rocketship underwear doesn't help. -- Calvin




I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life. This ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our most melancholy propensities; for is there anything more stupid than to be eager to go on carrying a burden which one would gladly throw away, to loathe one's very being and yet to hold it fast, to fondle the snake that devours us until it has eaten our hearts away -Voltaire



Words do not express thoughts very well. They always become a little different immediately as they are expressed, a little distorted, a little foolish



Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.-Helen Keller




Nobody can take away your pain, So don't let anyone take away your happiness





I love quotes because, it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully, expressed with much authority by someone recognizedly wiser than oneself.- Marlene Dietrich




The thing that we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down. -- Mary Pickford






Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best. ~Henry van Dyke



Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on. - Blow




You want to but you can't, and when you do you wish you didn't -Breakfast Club




memory is an abstract painting---
it does not present things as they are,
but rather as they feel

reference

Sunday, January 11, 2009

r-funworld! Humor.....!@!@!@!

~~~~~~~~~~~~ r-funworld! ~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mara maran par tame aansoo na bahavsho,
Mara maran par dosto gam na karsho..
..Mari yad aave to sidha upar j aavjo!!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~ r-funworld! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jivan maa JAS nathi,
Prem maa RAS nathi;
Dhandha maa KAS nathi,
Javu chhe swarg maa,
pan eni koi BUS nathi..

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~~~~~~~~~~~~ r-funworld! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tu hase chhe jyare jyare,
tyare tyare tara gaal ma khada padechhe.
Hu vicharu chhu betho betho
ke mara shivay aa khada ma ketla pade chhe!

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~~~~~~~~~~~~ r-funworld! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

G - gentle
U - understanding
J - jolly
A - adorable
R - royal
A - aggresive
T - tough
I - intelligent
This much quality only 1 cast have,
Yes, its GUJARATI..

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~~~~~~~~~~~~ r-funworld! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bolya kare a maitri,
chup rahe a prem
milan karave a maitri,
judai satave a prem
hasave a maitri,
radave a prem,
to pan loko maitri mukine kem kare chhe prem??!!

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~~~~~~~~~~~~ r-funworld! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gujju Premi: Darling mere kaan me kuch halka sa,
kuch narm sa, Kuch namkin sa, Kuch mitha sa kaho!

Premika: DHOKLA

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~~~~~~~~~~~~ r-funworld! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shayari:
Tu hase chhe jyare jyare,
tyare tyare tara gaal ma khada padechhe.
Hu vicharu chhu betho betho
ke mara shivay aa khada ma ketla pade chhe!

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~~~~~~~~~~~~ r-funworld! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Inglish !

These four classified ads appeared in a local newspaper on four consecutive days.

The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake.

MONDAY: For sale: SK Shah has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 25550707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.

TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred In SK Shah's ad yesterday. It should have read "One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 2555-0707 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7PM."

WEDNESDAY: Notice: SK Shah has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale: SK Shah has A sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 25550707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him."

THURSDAY Notice: I, SK Shah, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 25550707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs Mani. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper but she quit!

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~~~~~~~~~~~~ r-funworld! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shu karu fariyaad tari,
Fariyaad ma yaad chhe
Fari fari ne yaad tari,
Ej mari fariyaad chhe!

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~~~~~~~~~~~~ r-funworld! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dictionary:
Sano...........Snow
Egg-joss.......Exhaust
Fota...........Photos
Lipti..........Lipstick
Phast..........Fast
Phlowur........Flower
Gilas..........Glass
Palty..........Party
Gorment........Goverment
Peeja..........Pizza
Punch..........Sponge
Die Vos........Divorce
New Brand......Brand New
Istill.........Steel
Bowel..........Bowl
Jee TV.........Zee TV
Juniversity....University
Istawbury......Strawberry
Isscooter......Scooter
dismiss........Screwdriver
Kale...........Tommorrow and Yesterday
Vija...........Visa


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